Monday, November 28, 2011

This Week's Update (11/28/11)

Welcome back to the week!

Is everyone fully recovered from their Black Friday?

This past week(end) was a pleasant surprise for us with the excellent response we got from the Kyle Orton video. Thank you to everyone that passed it along. We're really glad that you enjoyed it. I know we had a ton of fun making it! We even made a brief appearance on YouTube's most popular videos...

We'd especially like to thank Kyle Orton. If it wasn't for you, there'd be no Orton.

We just shot another video today which involves a cop and his addiction to pepper spray. It goes without saying that this was another successful day of fun. We hope to have it up to YouTube by mid-week. So stay tuned...

Good luck to everyone on your final hours of Cyber Monday. Be thankful that you can't be pepper sprayed on Wal-Mart's website.

Thank you all for the wonderful support!


Saturday, November 26, 2011

Orton's Farewell on Wall Street Journal

Kyle Orton's Video makes it on Wall Street Journal!

Thanks for the support...the kind of support Orton wished for while he was in Denver.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Black Pepper Spray Friday

The excessive use of pepper spray in America has officially replaced the excessive use of "That's what she said!"

The reason? Frustration.

People are frustrated. I went out this morning for some Black Friday action, and sadly the only thing I bought was a heated back wrap. While I was out, I heard a man say, while seething, "There are too many people here!" Sir, you ARE one of these people here. Do you realize that you contributed to the mass of people that were wedged into the entrance of Kohl's? I'll let him off the hook if he truly believed that he was the only one who saw the massive amounts of Black Friday commercials, and that the amazing deals were his own little secrets.

The bud of frustration is putting yourself in a situation when you know that A) There's a better situation or B) You could have prevented this situation. In this man's case, he fell into both categories.

I know that I get frustrated. I get frustrated when I see people walk slowly in front of my car when I graciously stop to let them cross the road. In this case, I know there's a better situation. A situation in which I hover over them...year 2015? I know that I get frustrated with myself as well. Whenever I leave the house and realize that I didn't brush my teeth I not only get frustrated, but extremely shy.

I have a solution! People, put down the pepper spray and pick up the Binaca! Instead of spraying the eyes of helpless and unknowing humans, spray the mouths of those stricken by halitosis. Not only will you be helping others, you'll be ridding yourself of the frustrations that come with smelling someone's bad breath.

And just for fun, please post "That's what she said" to any of the sentences above. It's a fun game.

Happy Fried Day!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Kyle Orton's Farewell to Denver

I would like to congratulate Kyle Orton on his recent waiver claim by the Kansas City Chiefs. May you quarterback peacefully now that you are free of Tim Tebow.


Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Orton hears a BOO!

We've hit a speed bump in the production of what was going to be our next YouTube video, but have no fear! We're going to push along and get a new video done tomorrow...

This week's video will focus on Kyle Orton and his recent unemployment. See what it's like to be in Tim Tebow's shadow, which is shadowed by John Elway's shadow. Orton explains what it's like to be a Bronco, a quarterback, and a human with a neck beard. Let's help Orton find a job. Did we mention Tim Tebow? Tim Tebow. Yes, Tim Tebow.

November 22, 2011

Today is an off day for us, but expect our new video to be posted and ready to go on YOUTUBE by Thanksgiving!

As for will be filled with Cake Pops, English Tea, and Bullet Proof Vests.

Monday, November 21, 2011

High Pressure Water Sprayer

Sometimes I wonder what people at retail stores, home improvement stores, and secondhand stores think of me...

Today, I went to Lowe's in an attempt to find a handheld, high pressure water sprayer. I went straight to the spray paint section and picked up some glossy black paint because I knew I'd need it sooner or later (not as our sprayer, but to paint our sprayer). I then wandered around the store aimlessly until an employee stopped me and asked if I needed any help. I said, "Yes, I do need some help. I need a handheld, high pressure water sprayer. He then proceeded to ask me, "What for?"  I froze. I didn't want to tell him that it was for a ________________(find out this week what we needed at Lowe's in our upcoming YouTube video)!

Stay tuned, WORLD...

Sunday, November 20, 2011



Let's start out by greeting each other...


(I'll assume that you also said "Hello")

Ok, now that we have the formal introduction out of the way, I'd like to tell you what Landlocked Pioneers is all about...

We're located in Denver, Colorado and we make fun.
You can find our videos HERE.
You can find our written out thoughts HERE.

Ok, that's about it.


Check out our first ever YouTube video called Fake Wallet!