Black Pepper Spray Friday

The excessive use of pepper spray in America has officially replaced the excessive use of "That's what she said!"



The reason? Frustration.

People are frustrated. I went out this morning for some Black Friday action, and sadly the only thing I bought was a heated back wrap. While I was out, I heard a man say, while seething, "There are too many people here!" Sir, you ARE one of these people here. Do you realize that you contributed to the mass of people that were wedged into the entrance of Kohl's? I'll let him off the hook if he truly believed that he was the only one who saw the massive amounts of Black Friday commercials, and that the amazing deals were his own little secrets.

The bud of frustration is putting yourself in a situation when you know that A) There's a better situation or B) You could have prevented this situation. In this man's case, he fell into both categories.

I know that I get frustrated. I get frustrated when I see people walk slowly in front of my car when I graciously stop to let them cross the road. In this case, I know there's a better situation. A situation in which I hover over them...year 2015? I know that I get frustrated with myself as well. Whenever I leave the house and realize that I didn't brush my teeth I not only get frustrated, but extremely shy.

I have a solution! People, put down the pepper spray and pick up the Binaca! Instead of spraying the eyes of helpless and unknowing humans, spray the mouths of those stricken by halitosis. Not only will you be helping others, you'll be ridding yourself of the frustrations that come with smelling someone's bad breath.

And just for fun, please post "That's what she said" to any of the sentences above. It's a fun game.

Happy Fried Day!


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